So it's been 4 days since I started the new medicines. The first night I didn't sleep at all, the second night  I slept for about 4 hours, so on the 3rd night I took 2 Tylenol PM which helped me sleep, but last night I only took one Tylenol PM and didn't sleep well again. I'm concerned that I will need a sleeping pill with these pills but we'll just have to wait and see. Other then the sleep issues, I am having some physical side effects, including dry mouth, frequent urination (not a bad thing with my kidneys) and a general blah feeling. It's kind of like being on heavy duty pain pills. I feel like Jello, even typing this is a challenge...


Okay so I couldn't finish the post earlier, because I felt horrible. I've talked to the Dr and it appears that I'm having some side effects from the medication. I'll call again in the morning and see how they want to move forward. That being the case I'll post when I have more information.

And so the process begins

Okay so today I start some new medications. One for depression and anxiety and another mood stabilizer that hopefully will give the first the boost it needs to make it effective. Sadly it will take a week or two for me to start feeling the affects, so I'm still going to be off for a few weeks.

I could not be starting these medication at a better time. The last 2 days have been very bad. I am extra stressed, anxious, and emotional about everything, even things that shouldn't bother me at all. Today was an extremely hard day and thankfully I had Kate to talk me down off the ledge a few times. Being a stay at home mom for a 3 year old is not easy for anyone, but with these problems its much harder. I am even having a hard time on Facebook, because of different posts about abuse. It just makes me so upset. I also like to watch the news, but that too is getting much harder too. 

Due to my illness I am not able to work. I know this sounds like a cop-out but it really isn't. It's impossible to find and keep a job when the idea of being in public causes an anxiety attack. Because of this we've ( Ted, Dr, and I) made the decision to apply for Social Security Disability, in order to relive some of the financial stress and give us the extra money needed to get the therapies I need. And I'm proud to say that today the application has been submitted. Now it's just a waiting game to see what happens, but I'm preparing myself for at least a six month wait. 

The Back Story

I had a very hard life growing up, of which the details you'll learn about through this blog, but the important details are that I was diagnosed with Depression at age 16. After my dad died in 2008 I feel into a deeper depression and developed an Anxiety Disorder. I've attempted to treat this many times but have been unsuccessful. More recently it's gotten worse. Earlier this month I was diagnosed with PTSD and Agoraphobia with panic disorder. The Dr and I are trying another combination of medicines and we'll be starting a few types of therapy in the up coming months. 

Intro to my journey.

I've decided to blog about the trials and tribulations involved in finding my happy place. In the past few months, my mental heath has gotten much worse and I've DECIDED to fix it. First I'll provide some back story and then I'll outline what I'm doing to fix it. Going forward I'll share updates, thoughts, opinions and some journaling. I'm doing this to keep myself on track, so if you don't hear from me, call me out on it, I need to be pushed through the hard days. 


I'm open to thoughts and comments but I'll ask that you please keep them positive as negativity can cause a step backwards in this process.